


(Lack of) Linearity

by eating_eyeballs



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hurt/Technoblade Comfort, Manipulation, Panic Attack, Post-Exile
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 13:20:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29934003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eating_eyeballs/pseuds/eating_eyeballs
Summary: Healing never feels like healing. It’s a brutal two-steps-forward-one-step back program that feels like two steps forward and four steps back.Basically, recovering from manipulation is a capricious and nauseating process.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 34





	(Lack of) Linearity

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings in tags- there’s a panic attack, and at the beginning there’s some food troubles.

The sound of another page turning grated against his ears. At this point it was making him want to rip his hair out as he stared at his reflection in the cold soup before him. He locks eyes with himself and watches his brow furrow.

“Can I go now,” he says through gritted teeth. 

Technoblade looks up from his book. He’s sitting in the seat adjacent to him, waiting until he’s done eating.

“Nope,” he hums.

He feels his face scrunch involuntarily, his eyes starting to burn in frustration. 

He just doesn’t want to eat. He doesn’t know why that’s such a big deal, and he really doesn’t understand why Techno is making him do this.

He glares daggers at his reflection and fights down the growing pricking sensation in his eyes.

“Dream wouldn’t make me do this,” he spits out. 

It hurts because it’s true. The more he’s been away, the more he’s realized that Dream was never in the wrong. Every little thing he did was either to help him or to teach him lesson. It was why he was out there in the first place- it was reform, in a sense.

He had almost plunged the country into another war. This was the least he could’ve gotten off with. Everything Dream was doing was just to ensure it wouldn’t happen again. Taking his things and then helping him get them back. He broke him down and built him back up in the image he should have been in the first place. 

On top of all of that, Dream was the only one who came to see him. Nearly every day at that. Putting that much time and dedication into helping him, even just hanging out with him; it’s something that nobody, not Techno, not Phil, not even Tubbo would do.

And Techno just hums at that.

His face twinges. Techno doesn’t like Dream, they’ve established this already. But anytime he tries to get a rise out of him by mentioning him, nothing happens.

His reflection grows angrier, looking more like a stranger by the second.

The page turns and he knocks the bowl off of the table. It clatters to the floor, the liquid already soaking into the wooden boards.

“Tommy,” Techno sighs.

Tommy quickly stands up. “No, this is bullshit,” he steps back to his room, but Techno grabs him by the back of his shirt. He spasms for a moment trying to get away from him, grunting out a ‘fuck you’ in the process.

Techno sets his book down, standing up and joining him past eye level. “C’mon,” he grumbles, heading back into the kitchen.

Tommy shoves him away, breaking his grasp. “No,” he huffs out. “I’m sick of this shit. I’m- I’m going back,”

The half-Piglin freezes.

“It’s better I go back anyway- if Dream finds me out here he’ll kill me. If I go back, he won’t- he’s won’t put me through whatever bullshit this is,”

Techno whirls around. “Making you eat?” He questions, and his voice is doing the shrill-yell that Tommy absolutely hates. “Me trying to get you to eat is bad? Dream took- he took all of your things, he almost killed you, and that’s not bad?”

A wet pain slaps itself across his chest but he ignores it, forcing his gaze to the floor. “He didn’t- he had to do that, ‘cause I was being stupid,”

Techno pinches the bridge of his nose. “Do you even hear yourself right now,”

And something in him snaps, because he’s heard that line before. It always happens before someone tries to fuck with him, tries to make him think he’s in the wrong when he’s _not,_ and he won’t be pushed back down again.

“Fuck you,” he spits. He whirls around ignoring the spin in his head and dashes to his room. “I’m fuckin’ leaving,” he shouts as he goes. “Going back to where I wasn’t miserable,”

It only takes him a couple of seconds to be completely packed. He never took his things out of his enderchest- he’d have to be stupid to do that. 

When he reaches the ground floor, Techno’s blocking the front door.

“Move, prick,” 

Techno sniffs. “No,”

Tommy groans, ending it with a frustrated yell. “You’re a fuckin’ idiot,” he shoves past him, and Techno almost looks surprised. His feet hit the wooden steps, and he pulls his jacket closer. “I’m leaving you alone like you always wanted and now you’re trying to stop me. You make no fuckin’ sense,” he mumbles, and Techno probably can’t even hear him.

His feet hit the snow and he hears footsteps behind him. Anger burns in his stomach.

“Why won’t you leave me the fuck alone?” He spits.

He blinks and he freezes. Techno stands in front of him. He doesn’t have armor on and none of his weapons are out, but Tommy can’t help but flinch.

“Tommy, get down,” he says low and calm, and Tommy knows that tone. The kind that shows he’s ready for blood, that he’s ready for whatever or whoever is about to come at him.

His blood runs cold. “What?”

“Get behind me,” Techno ushers, and Tommy falls in behind the billowing cape. “I’m handing you an enderpearl; take it and get away from here,”

Tommy forces back a cough when he chokes on his own spit. “Is it him?”

Techno nods. His heartbeat is suddenly in his ears, and his hands shake as he reaches for Techno’s fist.

But now he’s on the ground, the snow soaking through his back. His wrist is pinned to the ground and a weight is settled across his torso, trapping him against the earth and he can’t breathe, he can’t _breathe._

“You still wanna go back?” Techno questions, loud and in his face.

His gaze flicks around, looking for the familiar shade of green in the tree line. His chest hurts with the amount of air he’s trying to take in, but his field of view is narrowing and he still can’t see _him._

“Tommy,”

Tommy gasps. “He’s going to kill me,”

He’s going to kill Tommy because he left him. He left Logstedshire, he went to Techno, and Techno lied for him, which means Tommy lied to him. Again. He’ll kill Tommy and then Techno, but he can’t do anything about it because he’s stuck on the ground.

The weight holding his wrist releases itself and he digs his palms into snow made out of daggers, trying to get away and back into the house where he’ll be out of sight.

“Tommy,” Techno barks, and Tommy’s head snaps up to meet his gaze. “He’s not here,”

It’s a pathetic excuse for a breath, but he takes one anyway. And another. And another. His lungs are spasming, working against him, but he fights through it. 

He carefully, carefully looks around.

He’s not here.

Nobody’s here.

“Do you still want to go back,” Techno annunciates.

Tommy chokes trying to shake his head. But no, no, he nods. Yes, he wants to go back. Just not-

Techno grabs him by the front of his shirt and Tommy almost whimpers. “You’re out here crying in the snow because I said his name, but you still want to go back?”

Tommy stares at him with wide eyes.

Techno’s eyes narrow. “He almost killed you,” he hisses. “He hurt you every single day you were out there. He made you want to kill yourself, and you still want to go back. Tommy, that’s _manipulation_. He manipulated you, and you want to go back to him because that’s where he wants you,”

He finally takes notice of the tears rolling down his face, but he can’t bring his hands up to wipe them away.

“I’m not going to let you go back because that’s what he- that’s what Dream wants. Do you really want to give him that?”

He carefully shakes his head. His next breath comes out as a sob, because no, no he doesn’t want to help Dream. He doesn’t want to do that at all. He never wants to see that man again.

Techno drops him and his weight goes back onto his elbows. Tommy scrambles to sit up, spasms wracking his frame. His hands go to his face, frantically wiping at the tears. 

He’s never cried in front of anyone. He’s never cried in front of Technoblade, no less. But every time he wipes one away it’s just replaced by another and it won’t stop.

Was he manipulated? He would know if he was manipulated. Nobody could pull something like that over his head, surely. That wouldn’t happen. 

Then why does he want to go back?

“What did he do to me?” He manages to choke out.

Techno slowly stands, holding out a hand. “Let’s go back inside,”

He stares at it for what feels like a century, watching snowflakes gather on his sleeve. They melt almost instantly, but occasionally one hangs on for a little longer. He watches until his eyes blur, until he blinks and focuses again. Eventually he reaches his shaking fingers out and he’s pulled up.

Techno claps a hand on his shoulder as the two shuffle inside.

“It’ll get better,” he mumbles.

**Author's Note:**

> Obviously Technoblade did not do the right thing here. Never try to shock your friends out of a panic attack.


End file.
